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Arise Snailguin,Arise.............

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Mrok(Gloom)Robert M:
Wow... Lol... I knew you were updating when I saw you on AIM... I like the most that dark hero with motorcycler style... Very impressive image... and of course... giving Snailguin a field to present his character quality and superb abilities... Really... I guess only Snailguin heart is bigger than everything in your story... But... we have still time to read more... I think you know people very well Eric... and it is well presented... and I believe you will carry on with use of your knowledge... Maybe someday few people will think before they act in according to lore of your story :)

ericb:
Thanks Rob.I'm gonna write some more on paper,then post it when i can. You seem to have an incredible understanding of the point I'm trying to make with the Snailguin.God bless Rob.
Posted on: November 03, 2009, 09:23:48 AMOk,here goes:                                         Chapter Seven:
                                               As the man began to advance toward the Snailguin,Watkins
postioned himself betwen the two. Seeing this,Wilder quickly raced to Watkins side.Then
he said"Just WHAT do you think you're gonna do with THAT?" The large man answered
"I'm gonna BASH that freaks BEAK throught it's skull,THAT'S what i'm gonna do!" And for
sevral moments,there was total silence. By now,the small crowd of people that had been
in the store was now outside,near the enterence. They too,were completely silent. Meanwhile,the store's cashier remained inside,as she looked out at the scene through the glass door.
                                               What happened next,caught both Wilder and Watkins
completely off guard. The man moved rather quickly for one of his size,as he ran into both
Watkins and Wilder,sending both men tothe ground. And then,with his left hand,he swung his weapon with all of his might,stricking the Snailguin upon the side of his head. To his
suprise the pipe which he had used to strike the Snailguin was now broken in two,
although his would-be victim appeared to be completely unfazed by his assault. "What
the HELL are you,the man screamed.
                                                No sooner had Watkins and Wilder gotten to their feet
than the snailguin said to them "Both of you.....GET BACK!" Wilder then took hold of
Watkins right arm."I suggest we listen to him,he said. With a firm hold on Watkins' arm,
Wilder began to run. "What's going on,Watkins asked."Why are we running?" "Just
MOVE,Wilder screamed.
                                               When they were thirty or so feet away from the car,
Wilder stopped and turned around. "Will,Watkins said,what's going on? By GOD,we
can't just leave him there with that guy.Why did we run!?" With a smile upon his
face Wilder said to Watkins "You'll see.Just watch.
                                                After watching Wilder and Watkins run,the man looked
into the Snailguin's eyes and said "Looks like both your friends BAILED on you freak."
The Snailguin began to slowly move toward the man saying "I'm sorry I have to do this.
I really am." Then the man screamed,"Do what you silly,funny looking freak!" The Snailguin
gave no answer as he continued t move toward the man in a very slow pace.
                                                 As he watched what was happened Watkins once again
asked "'What's going on?" When a monent had passed he spoke again."Will?" "His slime
trail Wilder said."Just watch his slime trail. Within seconds,they began to notice vapors,green
in color as they began to rise up from the ground,from the very trail of slime the the
Snailguin left behind him as he moved. These vapors seemed to take on a life of their own
as they transformed into a thick mist and quickly surrounded the Snailguin,as well as his
would-be assailant.
                                              "What is THAT,Watkins asked."Whatever it is,it STINKS!"
"Just be glad you're not INSIDE that mist,Wilder said.After around 30 seconds the green
mist began to slowly disipate. What the saw next was that the very hostile man was now
lying on the ground,face down,around five feet away from the Snailguin. As the two made their
way back to the car,Watkins asked "Will,WHAT just happened? He didn't KILL that guy,did he?"
"I'll explain all about this later,Wilder said."And NO,he isn't DEAD,but he'll be out like a light
for QUITE awhile.But now,we need to ust get out out here!"
                                               As the pair attempted to help the Snailguin into the car,two
men from the crowd now approached them.One of them,a tall man in is early twenties
screamed"You're not going ANYWHERE!" As he looked down upon the unconscious man
lying at his feet he asked "Just WHAT did that THING do to this guy?"
                                               Turning toward them,Wilder said "He's not dead.Just
unconscious.He'll be ok.Snailguin was only defending himself,he didn't want to hur-
"SnailWHAT ,the man interupted."SnailGUIN,Wilder answered. As Watkins resumed
attemping to aid the Snailguin into the car,still another man running in their direction,
carrying a large plastic garbage can.Before Watkins could get the Snailguin into the car,
the man raised the can oer the Snailguin's head,dumping all of it's contents on him. Seeing
this the other two men began to laugh.
                                              "Watch this,the man to Wilder's left said.Like his friend,he
to was in his early twenties.He was holding in his right hand,a large plastic cup,covered,
with a straw going into the cup through it's cover. He hurled the cup in the direction of the
Snailguin,strinking him in his head and spilling all of it's contents on him."That DOES it,
Watkins screamed.With he left hand,he struck the man with the garbage can on the
right side of his jaw,sending him to the ground.Wilder did the same to the man on
his left.He too,was sent immediatly to the ground. Niether man seemed to move after
being struck. "Im normally a non violent man,Wilder said to the man to his right."But if
you want a fight,well now you've got one!"
                                               "Alright,Alright,the man responded.He placed both hands
up in front of him as he backed away from Wilder saying"Just let me help my friend here,
you WHACKED him pretty good!" Wilder nodded. As the man was tending to his fallen
friend,Wilder now noticed that the cashier in the store was on the phone. "Jeremy,he
said."The POLICE are going to be here REAL soon. We NEED to leave.......NOW!"
                                                 Quickly,they assisted the Snailguin into the car. When
everyone was inside,Watkins sped out of the parking lot. All three were quiet as he
drove toward his home.
     
                                                        To Be Continued.......... ............

Mrok(Gloom)Robert M:
Hmmm... I am a bit worried about level of violence lol... You know... Some people are too young to have much contact with it except TV or any other mass information products... Your story included lol... I know for sure that you are making your story as true as possible... based on experience and knowledge about some people behaviour... like their first and instinctive reaction is to humiliate and abuse whatever they see as different and not in their acceptance... Hmmm... Sorry... I just felt this itchy phrase to say lol... Anyway... You are not disappointing with giving good breathtaking action... and Snailguin is still surprising... Somehow I feel much of consequences coming from their visit in the store... Getting into brawl... making Snailguin known to the rest of the world... Hmmm... At least it means chance for much of adventures... Write on : )

ericb:
Hiya Robert. I'm afraid that SOME violence is neccessary,as the there IS a point to this story.Also,keep in mind that the Snailguin is in a sense a super hero. The level of violence you will see within the story,is no more or less then what you will see in an average comic book. After all, if Superman didn't punch out Brainiac or Lex Luthor,how would he stop them? If you removed all violence from a Superman story,than the Man Of Steel's life would be limited to helping old ladies cross the street and rescuing cats from trees,lol.More appropriate maybe,but certainly nothing you'd want to read about in a story,nor would those things be something that you'd need "Super powers" in order to accomplish. :) :) :)

I'm glad you liked it though.I'm not finished with the next chapter yet.I'll finish it tonight from my job,and post it tomorrow.Take care dude.I'm always glad to read yours and other's input. :) :) :) :)
Posted on: November 09, 2009, 12:23:44 PM                                                                Chapter Nine:
                                        Once they were inside Wilder's home,the Snailguin
immediately made his way toward the basement. "Snailguin,Wilder said."I'd really like
to talk to you. Please.Stay up here." The Snailguin continued to remain silent as he
slowly approached the ramp. "Snailguin,Wilder said."I'm very,VERY sorry. I had NO idea it
would be like THAT." Still,the Snailguin remained absolutely silent as he slowly began to
decend down the ramp.
                                       As he stood behind Dr.Wilder,Watkins said "Obviously,he's VERY
upset.To be honest,I can't say that I blame him one bit. Will,you NEVER should have made
him go with you." As he turned around to face Watkins,Wilder replied "I-I had NO idea any
of THAT was going to happen."
                                      "You had NO Idea,asked Watkins,his voice now filled with a harshness
he'd never before used toward his friend. You had NO idea,he asked again."You HAD to know
that some people might not react too well to him." Wilder sighed. Then he said softly
"Jeremy.I knew that some people might not understand him at first.But,I never EVER thought
that things would get THAT bad at the store. You have NO idea how bad I feel right now."
                                      "Will,Watkins asked."What are you going to do now?" For a moment
Wilder fixed his gaze toward the basement. Then,looking back at Watkins he answered " For
now,I'm ust going to leave him be.He's upset,and no doubt wants to be left alone. But later on,
I'm GOING to have a talk with him. I CAN'T let what happened tonight discourage him. I DON'T
want him to be afraid of the world. Sooner or later he's GOING to have to put this behind him."
                                        After several moments passed Watkins said "Will,I'm NOT trying to
tellyou what to do here,but I DO hope you'll take my advice. Please,whatever you do,PLEASE,
don't make him do anything unless you are absolutely SURE he's prepared for what's out there. If you FORCE  him into another situation like he just went though,I'm telling you.......it may KILL
him."
                                        A look of confusion appeared on Wilder's face as he said "Kill him?
You don't seem to understand.I don't know if anything on Earth CAN kill him." At this Watkins shook his head. Speaking softly,yet firmly he said "Oh,I'm afraid YOU'RE the one who doesn't seem
to understand Will.You don't have to literally physically die,in order to FEEL dead.I know what
it's like to be dead INSIDE,and I can tell you that when I looked into Snailguin's eyes as we
were helping him into the car tonight,I saw someone who's all but at that point. Please,for
HIS sake,and YOURS,be careful what you do from this point on. Please."
                                        Wilder began to feel as a child being lectured by a parent.
However,realizing that there was truth in his friends words he said softly "I understand." 
The two men then went into the living room and sat on the couch.Siezing his TV remote from
the coffee table he clicked on the TV. "Wow,he said.Dallas is beating the Bills 230-0. And it's
STILL only the third quarter!" After seeing the score,Watkins laughed as he said "I think
next year,the Bills should draft my five year old niece in the first round! Or maybe start
bribing the refs, if ANY team could use it,it's THAT one!"
                                         For the next several minutes they discussed the game.Then,
Watkis said "So Will. You never told me exactly HOW Snailguin did what he did to that
guy tonight. You know,that mist he surrounded himself with? I mean,I got an idea,but
please,confirm it for me?" Wilder smiled."Simple,he said. The Snailguin can,AT WILL, add
a substance into the slime trail that he creates as he moves. By itself this substance would
PROBABLY be harmless,but when COMBINED with the slime trail,the result is a non lethal
but VERY potant GAS.It's effects are nearly instantanious,so unless you're prepared for it,
you'd find yourself out cold for quite awhile once he unleashes it. I GUARENTEE,that guy
at the store is STILL uncouncious,and probably will be for the next several hours."
                                      "I thought it was something along those lines,Watkins said. But,
how did you discover he could do that?" "Actually,Wilder answered,he knew from day one
that he could do that." Smiling yet again,he said "I asked him to give a demonstration one
day. He was hesitant at first,but eventually he gave in. I found myself with a MASSIVE
headache when I woke up severalhours later!" After a moment of silence both men laughed.
                                        For the next few minutes niether spoke as their attention drifted
back to the football game. After the Cowboys scored another three touchdowns in as many
minutes Watkins looked at Wilder and asked "So.Is there anything ELSE that Snailguin can do?
"Well,Wilder anwered,actually yes there is. He has the ability to-"
                                        Before Wilder could finish his sentence,they heard a loud pounding
as someone was knocking on the front door.

                                       
                                                 To Be Continued.......... .................

uniqueandalanis4:

--- Quote from: DIE HARD KELLY FAN on October 15, 2009, 12:50:14 PM ---wow, that's really good, now i really want to know what happeneds in the 2nd chapter. I love it that this story is about your creature the Snailguin :D this is going to be a very fun story, especially with a snailguin that can talk ;D

--- End quote ---

 :D :D lmao.. omg eric u rock.. wooo a snailguin who can talkkkk .. i read the first chapter.. now i got alot of catching up too do!! :) u rock lol ;D ;D

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