Topic: Anyone wanna help me with my problem?

[Charmedfan44]

  Okay here is what is going on, my bf cheated on my and then came back to me then told me he doesn't love me anymore and left me again.  Now my friends are fighting eachother too, my best friend thinks that my other best friend is a bad influence so they are trying to get the other to hate me so I hate them, and then yeah.  SO one of my friends now hates me, and my other friend rewened her picture and threw it in her face saying it was from me... But I still care for her and wanna be her friend, just having a bad week, what do I do?

[katieg]

Honestly there really isn't much you can do other than tell your friends exactly how you feel. Once you do the ball is

[sarah8]

wow - that was deep pk. I agree - make sure they have the facts. tell the one that was hurt that you did not do all that stuff - and cut the other out of your life - if she is going to act like that - yu can't be friends with her.

as for the b.f. - anyone who cheats on you doesn't deserve you. it gets you down - but there will come a time when you are over it and fine - but it takes time. like the song - time is a healer - and love heals the wounds it makes

[Charmedfan44]

I see what you mean, but me and the one who hurt my other friend have been friends since 2nd grade, so not easy to let go of.  And  as for my boyfriend, okay this is going to sound very corny or whatever you want to call it, but yeah...  I have never felt happiness before, really I started giving up on it, stopped believing in it, untill I met him, and we were fine untill our 5 month anaversary, when he said he NEEDED to be free, and couldn't date only one person when he loved more than one, and then we broke up and I met a nice guy who then I left to go back to the old guy because he was the only one who made me smile, and made me feel good, but I was to scared to do anything while going out because I didn't wanna mess it up, so it just got worse, I mean after we broke up we were closer than before... while he cheated on me once that I walked in while he was talking about it, and 4 other times I didn't know about til recently.  I swere I am in a soap opera.  The point is I took a chance and it all blew up in my face, gave up a sure thing, for my love.  Well bye.

[sarah8]

well. chances come around like that again with better people. I once went out with a guy that i thought the world of - then he turned out to be a bit of a psycho. I had to break ties with him - i was so unhappy because he was so much to me. everyday I walked past the phone and longed to phone him - but i had to fight it. Then time went by, and after awhile it got easier, till eventually I forgot about him. it took awwhile - but then I found someone so much more amazing, that i can't even see what i saw in the first oke. you will be happy again. it takes time. you can't rely on someone else to makee you happy - you have to be happy in yourself, or there is always a chance you'll be let down.

As for the friend - it's quality (how good a friend) not quantity(how long she been a friend) that really counts. I have hadd to walk away from some friendships before cause they weren't good for you. Maybe your friend is right and the other girl is a bad influence, or the other way round - i guess only you know that - so you have to decide. Good luck - I hope it all works out well for you. otherwise....there's always dr. phil.....lol

[Charmedfan44]

Yeah ^_^  I suppose that is true,  I guess I just do not want to forget him, and I am sure I never will because I have 9 mental problems one of them is being a dependent which means I depend on everyone to take care of me, and when I lose someone I can go to drastic mesures to either get them back or get rid of the pain.  Also as far as the friend thing goes, it means that I will suffer through anything even abuse to keep a friend.  If I do not have anyone or am lonely you don't wanna know what I will do.  SIGH! 

Also about the I will forget him, the thing about that is I watch him every day at school, and God keeps throwing us into these situations, or something.  I see that he is getting over me so much faster than I am getting over me, and like in the song from Kelly, 'Since you been gone'  that part that pretty much says I always say I love you, and you never did, ya never felt that way.   That is what I keep feeling all the time, and I am doing everything I can to make SURE he doesn't get to forget me, because he said he never would, but as I told him "You will forget me, everyone forgets, trust me you will..." 

^_^  Well thankyou for your help, and yes there will always be dr. phill. hehe.

[sarah8]

so basically - you are issues central then? Kidding -

[ChristopherD]

girls and their issues, I'll never understand it. just kidding. I probabaly would have glanced right over this and not replied if it werent for the cheating part. I'm probably one of the most outspoken people I know on this, but I just don't believe in it. Anyone who cheats is dirt in my mind, I simply wont stand for it. Cheating and Divorce are pretty much 2 of the biggest things in my mind I simply don't believe in or will stand for. I'd never do it to someone else and I'd always expect the same in return, and this might sound harsh, but if anyone ever cheated on me (actually, it has happened once, but she didnt tell me till after the breakup), that'd be the end of things. cheating is the biggest shatterer of that barrier of trust. At the same time I'm very up front about that stuff right from the start when I date anyone.

So, I guess what i'm saying is leave him and move on. And I know those are tough words to hear and even more tough to follow when there's some fondness for that person still left in your heart, -or- they've treated you in such a way that you feel you can't survive without them, which is never true, you always can, and you'll become a better, stronger person for learning to do so.

[sarah8]

amen brother........chea tin anin't something that's easy to get past - but if you're married to that person - it can get more complicated than just sayin it's over....

[Charmedfan44]

Well I have been cheated on 14 times in three years, of course it hurts me, it makes me feel like I am not good enough.  And it is not that I am not pretty I am one of the prettyest people in this small town, but it is because I can not trust them and will not let them do stuff I am not ready for, so they cheat on me.  And yes I agree I am completely against cheating I hate it!

[katieg]

being cheated on lowers your self esteem and you should never put your heart in the hands of someone who obviously holds it in low regards. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I think cheating is just wrong. You have to realize that the problem is with him and not you and once you do you'll see just how much better you are without him. As much as the whole situation hurts in the end you will come out on top and you will be a bigger and better person for it. The key is that you have to have faith in yourself and know you deserve better.

[sarah8]

and if you are not ready for something - don't go there - esp not if you are only afraid they will cheat if you don't!!!!!!

[Charmedfan44]

Thankyou all of you, it is just hard I guess, but I am trying... SIGH!!!  I try not to go forward, but he kept pushing me, and I was about to give in, then he left me, so kinda his loss stupid guy... Well I am just hoping to find someone new still though, and maybe get some better friends.... Still I do not know if I can.  BUT I will still try over and over and probably over again, because people tend to hate me...

[sarah8]

I am sure that is not true - people only get skeptical when you try be someone you aren't - cause they sense you're not being open with them - so just be yourself. and not only is it his loss - but it's great for you - that you didn't give him more of your heart - would have made it worse!

[Charmedfan44]

Thankyou, you are very nice, all of you, I am glad that I came to y'all for advise... I don't know why people hate me then, I am always myself... but myself is pretty strange.  Well yeah, I guess that it is technically his loss, but he is the one with new friends, and new girl, and a new life, while I am stuck not moving on.  Although he did call me and tell me he didn't hate me yesterday, I hung up on him though, I didn't need to hear his lies Y'know, because I can not trust him at all!  Well I will try to think on the side that he will never find someone, as loving, caring, and who will never cheat on him, and always talk to him , and SPECIAL (as everyone puts it) like me!  SO thankyou all!!